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Putting the kids first when announcing a divorce

For you and your spouse, a divorce is something you spend a lot of time thinking about and talking about before you make it official. However, during this time, you do not tell your children. You don't want them to worry or feel involved in the process.

That's wise; you certainly do not want to tell them before you know for sure. After you do, though, how do you break the news in a way that puts the kids first?

Ideally, you want to get all of your children together in the same room and make the announcement. They all deserve to know at once. Some parents think it's easier or better to have one-on-one conversations with each child in turn, but then you run the risk of one child finding out from the other. Instead, announce it all at once and then have those one-on-one conversations as needed.

Do not blame each other when you do this. Don't have the meeting without your spouse so that you can blame them and turn them into the "bad guy" for the kids. Do it together and stress that this is a mutual decision.

Consider the timing, as well. You may want to wait for the ideal time. You certainly want to avoid things that the kids are looking forward to, such as the holidays, a child's birthday, high school graduation, a vacation or something else along these lines.

No matter how this conversation goes, once you get the process started, make sure you are well aware of your parental rights and the legal steps you can take.

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