Your Family Matters

How to emotionally prepare for a divorce

On Behalf of | Jun 20, 2023 | family law

Deciding to file for divorce is a life-changing endeavor. Other feelings may arise besides the possible stress and legwork that come with processing a divorce in Illinois. Working with an experienced divorce attorney can help you navigate the legal aspects so you can focus on this critical transition in your life.

Regardless of how amicable the dissolution of marriage is, it can still impact each spouse’s feelings unexpectedly. Here are some ways you can emotionally prepare for ending a marriage:

Lean on your support care team

Being married to someone means sharing a life with them. They were there during your life’s ups and downs. They may have even been vital in reaching certain milestones and making significant decisions in other aspects of your life. Now that you are filing for a divorce remember that it is okay to lean on your support care team more.

No one can replace your spouse precisely as they were and how they have been your number one supporter, but realize that other people can assist you as you face a new chapter in your life. This is probably the best time to reconnect with your friends and family.

Begin shifting your priorities

Even before the divorce begins, try to remind yourself of the priorities that do not involve your soon-to-be ex-spouse. This might be a passion project or advancement in your career.

If you have kids, this may be the best time to grow closer with them and focus more on parenting them. Help them cope with the changes in the family’s setup and regulate their unsettling feelings about the divorce. Be mindful not to villainize your spouse or vent to your kids or you risk an accusation of parental alienation.

Accept the dualities of your emotions

Feelings are not always black or white. It is not all or nothing. Just because the marriage is ending does not mean you will not care for your spouse. You may feel relieved and miss them at the same time. You may feel lonely but, at the same time, experience excitement at the thought of becoming single again.

Suppose you are experiencing difficulties in processing your emotions. In that case, you can bring this up with your divorce lawyer, and they can recommend a trained counselor or therapist to assist your emotional and mental needs.