Your Family Matters

Can dating “tests” help find the one?

On Behalf of | May 10, 2022 | Firm News, Uncategorized

For those ready to settle down and exit the dating pool, they may be looking for ways to test potential spouses. However, often these tests can simply push potential spouses away or make them lose trust in you. This can be especially true if a dater creates entire scenarios to test reactions. This is why one TikTok-famous divorce expert says that the key is paying attention to reactions, which starts by offering to pay for dinner on the first date.

Who pays?

While one gut reaction to paying for the first date is, of course, that he should pay. This rule goes for both daters, regardless of gender and who asked who out. The person offering to pay is offering not only as a goodwill gesture but also to see the reaction to the offer.

Reaction?

How one reacts to an offer to pay from someone they barely know can be a spotlight on their inner self, which is very hard to see on a first date. If they act entitled to you paying, then this likely means that entitlement is part of their core self, which means they will feel entitled to more and more as the relationship develops. Think about that level of entitlement after 20 years of marriage. Graciousness can be a good sign, if sincere, but better yet, at least, an attempt to pay themselves is even better. This shows that they are looking to build a partnership, which is the type of person who one would want to marry.

Not a test

This first dinner date offer is not a test. Indeed, it is simply a recognition that key times and offers can show who someone really is, without the need to date them for years. Other such times, which also occur during a first date, are their reaction to restaurant choices, what they order off the menu, how they treat service staff, etc. Pay attention to these microinteractions because they can tell volumes about potential spouses.

What if it is too late?

Unfortunately, for many Springfield, Illinois, daters who eventually marry, they only find out their spouse is not who they thought after years of marriage. That new, unknown person is not who they thought they married, and as a result, divorce is likely the best option. For these soon-to-be daters, take what you learn and use it going forward.

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